Understanding the post-wedding blues


Before you start wondering if getting married was the biggest mistake of your life, try and understand what's going on in your head.

- Anticlimax
You dream of your wedding day for months, if not years, if not all your life! All of a sudden, your big day is over, and it might not have happened just as you thought it would in your dreams. Then you get the (totally subconscious) disappointment that comes when you realize it hasn't actually changed your life. "Getting married is a bit like getting exam results," says expert Sophie Cadalen. "You spend weeks worrying about it and when it's over you're happy, but it hasn't changed everything. It's a springboard to a new life." 

The end of a long road
For months, if not years, all your spare time and energy has gone into planning your wedding day, and all of a sudden you've nothing else left to organize! It's only natural that after all that excitement, a period of emptiness sets in. "'I spent a year and a half organizing my wedding," says reader Melissa. "It took over my whole life, and now I don't know what to do with myself." 

Ego trip? 
Another of our readers, Nora, missed being the center of attention after her wedding. "I missed my dress, the whole wedding atmosphere and everyone being all attentive and paying me compliments." This is totally normal: during the months leading up to your wedding, you're the center of attention and understandably you lap it all up (who wouldn't?). Afterwards you come crashing back down to Earth and have to get used to not being the belle of the ball.

You realize that you're now bound to one man for life. Will you never know any other? Will people think you're a boring housewife now? Will you make it work? You only have to look at the divorce figures to realize that marriage isn't a piece of cake. 

Did you know? The post-wedding blues usually kick in a few days after the wedding, but they can also manifest several months after the big day (in which case, they're harder to "diagnose" and can turn into depression). Don't think twice about going to see a therapist to help you get things straight and get to the bottom of any deeper-rooted problems. 


Sarah Horrocks
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