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23 Things Women Actually Think While Men Are Trying to Get it On

Cliche Wynter Published by Cliche Wynter
Published on March 30, 2015

Men are some really interesting creatures aren't they? They're so entitled at times that we want to bite their heads off, but so loveable the next that we can't even. Then there are those very special moments when they're trying to raid our panties and we're introduced to an entirely different beast. Fellas, have YOU ever wondered what women are actually thinking while you're trying to get it on? Let us tell you...

As you know, we recently spoke to Jack Hutson aka "The Blowjob Instructor" and he gave us some unfiltered feedback on what men are thinking when we're giving head. And while it's all good and great to get a peek into the mind of a man, we quickly realized there really wasn't too much that surprised us there. They love BJs and want them as much as possible. Who would have thought?

Guys, we thought we'd return the favor (so to speak). Here are 23 thoughts that go through a woman's mind while you're trying to sleep with her.

1. "I'm tired. Aren't YOU Tired?"

You say you're "too tired" to take out the trash, or (GOD FORBID) wash a dirty dish, but the moment we hint at sex, suddenly you're made of iron and can screw around for days.

2. "Can I take a nap first?"

It's been a long week. A girl has got to get her beauty rest. Wake us in 30.

3. "Maybe after this episode?"

In 2015, just about nothing comes between a girl and her Netflix. With a hectic work schedule and a brutal commute, those precious moments at home need to be prioritized.

Season 3 of "House of Cards" now, missionary later. MAYBE.

4. "Not with those sweaty balls, you don't."

You want us to do what? With your sweaty balls?

Um, get in the shower, nasty!

5. "Ugh! Fine go ahead, but I'm watching Netflix."

Okay, sometimes we feel really guilty for choosing guilt-free entertainment over you, so we allow you to do your thing. But don't think we're going to be active participants when sh*t is about to hit the fan In OITNB.

6. "Where's the rest of it?"

This happens all too often. We're really attracted to you, you've hyped up your sex game like no other, then you unzip your pants and we think, "You've got to be kidding me!"

7. "Wait until the girls hear about this..."

Which can be a good or bad thing. But please rest assured they'll get every tiny detail.

8. "Is this music supposed to set the mood?"

It's safe to say that songs about killing and other forms of brutal violence WON'T get our panties off.

Some Sade though? Now we're talking.

9. "WHY SO ROUGH?!"

When. Will. It. END?

10. "Oh? It feels better without a condom? Cool story, bro."

You know what also feels great? A clean bill of health.

11. "No chance of head tonight. I'm not even sorry."

We appreciate your generosity though.

12. "Wait, he's trying something NEW?"

While we're truly grateful, we wonder how Jack suddenly got so nimble.

13. "I don't care what he says, I'm still not swallowing."

Kk.

14. "What's up with this furniture?"

We're pretty sure you're a serial killer due to your lack of furniture and overall eccentric choice in decor, but whatever. We came for the D, so we're going to get the D... even if it kills us.

15. "He'll be coming in 3... 2... ahh there it is!

"KILL ME NOW."

16. "But you're drunk, you'll NEVER finish!"

"Drunk Dick; it's a serious condition," as one lovely gal put it.

17. "How is THAT going to fit in ME?"

It's either too small or too big. Where's Mr. Just Right?

18. "WTF is he doing?"

Seriously.

19. "Let me just get on top."

Someone has to show you how it's done.

20. "Great. Now I'm choking on pubes."

Because trimming is asking too much, right?

21. "Maybe if I say I'm on my period, he'll stop trying."

But the most brave set of you still insist that you don't mind.

22. "I wonder if his roommates can hear."

Yes, yes they can.

23. "I waxed for THIS?!"

You guys will never understand the sacrifices we make for you!

Do these thoughts sound like you? Did we miss anything? Tweet us @wewomenUSA.

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