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I want to be honest but where do I start?


Disability dating
Disability dating
Q. I’m ready to talk to my online love about my chronic illness but I’ve no idea where to start! How can I explain my disability to him, without risking our future relationship?

Telling people about your own disability or chronic illness can be very difficult. Dr Tuppy Owens is the founder of Outsiders, a social group for people with disabilities and an international authority on disability, sex and relationships:

“It requires a lot of confidence. It’s easy to say what one should do but it’s difficult.” She suggests keeping it brief and to the point.

Remember to be positive. Early on you can avoid being too specific about your disability. Your potential love doesn’t necessarily need to know the formal medical name for your condition. You’re enjoying online dating, not looking for a new doctor!

At these early stages of a relationship, brevity can be just as important as honesty when talking about your disability.

Like Dr Owens, Kaliya (a 35 year old online dater with disabilities) likes to keep it brief. She also avoids using the term disabled:

“Tell them what’s wrong, tell them you have a health condition, tell them what it is. But, I find if you use the word disabled you never hear from them again. But if I say I’ve got a condition that makes me dislocate my joints so I use a wheelchair some of the time, nine times out of ten they’re fine.”


Love & Sex Editor
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