Discussing mother-in-law issues with your partner
Relationship advice: mummy's boy
"Mums of boys can often be particularly possessive," recognizes Philippe Geffroy. "As a result, it's the women who suffer, and the conflict can sometimes even lead to separation." Do you keep quiet? No, you don't want things to get worse. Do you speak up? Yes, but only after you've counted to ten first: you're entering a minefield, it's his mum after all.
Don't ask him to abandon his mum. A man should never be made to choose between his mother and his partner. Besides, this choice will only leave him thinking that you and his mum both have the same place in his life, which is far from the truth.
Best way forward
"Redefine everyone's places in the family," explains Philippe Geffroy, "by telling your husband that you don't want to take his mother's place but that you don't want her to take your place either."
Try your best to express how you're feeling ("I feel…") rather than being critical ("your mum is too… "). And be explicit, says Philippe Geffroy: "Specify what it is that bothers you by talking about facts, and suggest some solutions."
For example, tell your partner that his mum is welcome to pop round at the weekend, but only every other weekend because you feel like you need some time to yourself.