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How to get over a difficult break-up


Amy, 21, a student from York

"I spent my days and nights wondering why he left me, and thinking of what I could do or say that would change his mind and have him come back.

"For several weeks, I've been surprised to see it more clearly and I've even abandoned the idea of making up."

"I understand why it wouldn't work so now. I don't want to know which one of us was the most wrong, and I'm not angry at him or myself.

"There's an element of inevitability in all this, but today I accept that ending it was for the better and there's nothing I could have done..."

Expert opinion

"I think that Amy now understands the principle of the old saying 'it takes two to tango."

When one person gives up, the relationship is lost. The other can drift away because they have different plans, or just because it isn't working out.

You have to accept an inevitability: love can't do everything, and for it to work both people have to want it.

I think that if you really loved your ex, and continue to respect them, after the shock has passed you will be able to understand and respect his choice. Acceptance is an indispensable step for finding peace and not remaining all tangled up in your sorrow."

How do I get over it?

 > Moving
Acceptance is the first step towards reconstruction and healing. But it's also a step when we feel very sad.

"It is important not to be overwhelmed by a sense of inevitability, and try to move forward" warns Patricia Delahaie. Go out with your friends, party, go to the movies, have fun!

> Start some projects
It's the best time to start new projects.

Make a list of everything you've always wanted to do (theater, singing, discovering Tibet, anything you want!) Set yourself goals and try to stick to them.

Don't let this to-do list fall into disuse, talk about your projects with friends and family.

Know that someone will ask "So, when are you going to Tibet?", and it will push you to follow through and go.


Love & Sex Editor
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