Top 5 rated articles
Male celebrity tattoos
What to wear on a first date: The only 5 rules you need
How To Last Longer In Bed
Jealousy in relationships: Overcoming jealousy
Internet dating: The dos and don'ts of internet dating
Getting over a break up - 5 steps to getting over a break up
Article in images

accepting a break-up - questions


Megan, 26, a waitress from Epsom

"Our relationship was chaotic, and he broke-up with me because I brought up marriage before he was ready, I asked him questions about us, and because he said that I stifled him.

I keep wondering why my relationships so often end like this." 

"Why do I always fall for men that are so independant? Am I too overwhelming for my boyfriends?

I don't have the answers yet, but asking these questions helps me get over my anger, and I hope that after getting the answers I won't be in this situation again."

Expert opinion

"During the break-up, the other person tells us things about ourselves. It's important to confront these in reality.

The whole point of a break up is to leave unhappiness behind...

Megan, and it's the same for many women and men that I have met, realizes that these scenarios seem to repeat themselves.

Often, these problems stem from childhood: if you had trouble getting your parents' attention as a child, you might have the tendency to fall for distant men. That's one way of not getting into a overly passionate relationship, for fear of suffering when it ends."

How do you get over it?

 > Stop torturing yourself
Asking yourself why the break up happened is good, but don't blame yourself entirely. If it wasn't right, then it would have ended whether or not you were demanding.

"You should ask yourself questions, but know that your ex-boyfriend isn't necessarily right," explains Patricia Delahaie.

"There are people that are very nervous about love, about commitment. In this case all the will-power and love in the world wasn't going to make them stay together."

There was nothing you could do, that's it. You have to accept that there the reasons for your break up were beyond your control.

> Make Lists

The best way to understand that you don't have all the responsibility in the relationship is to write it down.

"Establish lists of what was wrong in your relationship. Make a 'I could have' column and a 'I couldn't control' column," advises Patricia Delahaie.

You can then see in a clear way that you weren't the only one responsible for the break-up.


Love & Sex Editor
Rank this page: 

Don't miss...
The ultimate Valentine's Day gift ideas for your man: Give him what he wantsGift guide for every man in your life
100 Of The Best Quotes To Live Your Life ByHow can you tone your shoulders while you’re in the kitchen?
Latest… 26/10/2014
Love & Sex News
10 Reasons Why We're Jealous Of Our Man's Bromance
One Woman Got Over A Bad Break Up By Spending An Entire Week At KFC
Why Mindy Kaling Is So Right About 'The Back Door Slip'
What We Can Learn From Matthew McConaughey's Marriage Ultimatum
All Love & Sex news
Oral Sex Tips - How To Give The Best Blow Jobs
What Is An Open Relationship?
How To Make Him Want You
How to choose a wedding celebrant
See all Love & Sex guides
Video: The secrets behind the way you hold your drink
See all Love & Sex videos

Don't miss out!

...Join our newsletter
Get the wewomen latest straight to your inbox
Find us on...