Getting over a break up - 5 steps to getting over a break up
Article in images

Painful break-up - Suffering in love


Ashley, 24, sales and marketing
exec from Hull

"Chris broke up with me two weeks ago, and I feel like it gets harder and harder. Until now I didn't think you could physically feel absence: I have a lump in my throat, I cry all the time, and I feel like part of me is missing.

"I thought that time would help, but the more time passes, the more I miss him."

"I keep replaying the last minutes of our relationship, what he told me as we broke up, and I feel like there's a missing puzzle piece, that the situation doesn't make sense.

"We aren't meant to be separated from each other, and I know that he's also suffering. I think about him when I'm falling asleep, I think about him when I wake up, and everyday I'm looking for a text, a phone call, an email, but nothing ever comes."

Expert's opinion

Patricia Delahaie says: "When we love someone, we get used to them: we share everything, and he occupies all our thoughts.

"The gap left over when he leaves is enormous and you will feel that absence physically as it's also a physical presence that you're aware is missing. The natural reaction is to try to bring him back by thinking about him all the time.

"It's a way of protecting yourself, keeping a part of him within you, avoiding complete amputation. This suffering is natural and legitimate: just know and accept that it is a necessary step."

How to get through it

> Talk about it
It is essential during this time to be surrounded by your friends and to put your feelings into words - no matter how melodramatic!

"Confide in your friends," suggests Delahaie, "they can give you another opinion of your story and you can avoid being stuck in a myth of the past, where everything was perfect. It will help you return to reality."

> Externalize your pain
Burn his letters, delete his texts, tear his photos..."Why not if it helps with your pain."

You have the right to suffer and to show it: crying lets you show the immensity of your pain, to empty your feelings and then to find relief.


Love & Sex Editor
Rank this page: 

Don't miss...
100 Of The Best Parenting Quotes100 Quotes About Embracing Change
Cardio training with Ewa!What can you do with a friend to burn calories?
Latest… 05/01/2018
Here Is What You Need To Know About Lesbian Sex
Everything You Wanted To Know About The Vagina But Were Afraid To Ask
All You Need to Know About Male Orgasms
Here Is Everything You (Secretly) Wanted To Know About The G-Spot
See all Love & Sex guides
Video: The secrets behind the way you hold your drink
See all Love & Sex videos

Don't miss out!

...Join our newsletter
Get the wewomen latest straight to your inbox
Find us on...