Commitment phobia
Why do some people have commitment phobia?
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Why do some people have commitment phobia?

Committing to someone you like is a good thing, sure, but it's also a pretty big decision.

Lyn says that the older we become, the more likely we are to get commitment phobia, because we'll have probably experienced making commitments that didn't work out the way we hoped they would.

"We've been disappointed and disillusioned," says Lyn. When we're young we're lucky enough to have not had those nasty experiences. So we don't worry about making big mistakes. We are, as the saying goes, young and care free.

"Once we've experienced grief, regret and pain from making bad decisions, we tend to think more before we make decision again," she says.

So what are the main causes of commitment phobia? Lyn says there are three.

First up, and most importantly, it's the avoidance of pain. Been hurt in the past? You'll probably be more wary of getting into a relationship now.

The second is not wanting to give up your freedom. It sounds selfish, but some people just hate being tied down. That could mean freedom to go out when they want, where they want, or it could mean freedom to get with anyone they want to (or anyone who will have them!)

The last reason is not wanting responsibility. It's a bit similar to the second reason, and is more likely to happen when there are kids involved.

Love & Sex Editor
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