Breaking up and moving on
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How to get over a break-up

How to get over a break-up

1) Is there a 'good way' of breaking up?

To go from harmony together to a situation in which a protagonist throws the other into complete shock and self-doubt is a big transition. Of course the ideal is a mutual decision: it saves face and makes things easier on both of you. But in reality, there's always generally one who initiates the process. It's good if you can lead your partner to a 'mutual' decision.

2) What advice would you give anyone who is struggling to cope with life after a break-up? At what point does the hurt stop and become just 'one of those things in life'? 

A break-up isn't an illness: it's a natural part of growing up, like losing your parents, your job, your baby teeth...anything! It's something that can happen at any time and something that will in all probability occur in your life, so you can be prepared for it in a way.

If you have a very strong identity, you're more than just 'so-and-so's wife' or 'so-and-so's girlfriend': you're an independent person with her own views on life, her own ambitions, her own interests, hobbies, pastimes and her own network of family and friends. The break-up of a relationship could signal an imbalance between all these elements in your life: you could be investing too much in something other than your relationship.

You go through the pain, you pick yourself up and you get on with your life, knowing that this break-up will make you stronger and help your next relationship to work. Either your daily life as a couple was wonderful and the memory helps you to endure till better times come along, or it had gone sour, in which case breaking up was the right thing to do. Even if it's not easy, break-ups happen to us all and we can use them to help us grow, avoid repeating the same mistakes, know and understand ourselves and what we seek in life.


Love & Sex Editor
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