Okay, so I've been off of the dating scene for several years and can openly admit that I may be naive to all that's changed since my last bout with singledom.
Social media is more prevalent than ever before, and romance seems to be on a steady decline. Sure, I get that.
But after a Sunday night chat with one of my friends, I realized there is something darker brewing on the relationship front than I had previously imagined. During our conversation, she revealed to me that a few of her friends were cheating on their significant other, even going as far as sending explicit photos to other men, yet felt little to no remorse. "I think they're doing it as a way to take their power back," she said. "Women have put up with so much bullshit from men, this is their way of reclaiming control."
I was immediately taken aback and thought, "Am I really that out of touch with today's dating climate? Is this what love has been watered down to?" Then I wondered, "Have I not evolved? Is this the new standard?" It scared me a bit.
Not once have I been unfaithful in any of my relationships. No matter how tricky things got, I never seriously thought of straying. I either stuck it out until the bitter end, or upped and left all together. But don't mistake my staunch devotion for an obligation to appease society. Loyalty is just one of those traits I pride myself on. It's who I am by nature.
I understand this isn't the case for all women, and am aware we're just as capable of infidelity as men. Yet, it never quite dawned on me that cheating could somehow bloom into a casual thing. I never imagined us women stepping out on our relationships for the heck of it, and not thinking twice about the damage we could potentially inflict. I guess that was my own bias trying to group us all under one umbrella.
So in order to get some valid insight, I tapped my friends Karen and Tracey, who have either cheated or are open to it, for their thoughts.
They're doing it out of spite
You know what they say, "What's good for the goose is good for the gander." There are women who seek revenge after they've discovered their man has been unfaithful.
Oh, and what he does, she'll do 10x better. "We're a lot smoother about covering our tracks" Karen revealed. She was hinting at women having the impeccable ability to make sure their indiscretions go unnoticed. Not only will they seek comfort elsewhere, if they don't want their boyfriends to know, he'll never have to find out.
Because they want to
There are other women who, like many men, find themselves struggling with monogamy. They see absolutely nothing wrong with engaging in a lustful night with one guy, and later going home to the man they care about.
Their sexual appetites constantly need to be fed, and they often crave new and exciting experiences. After being with the same partner for years, the intimacy can sometimes grow stale and painfully predictable. This is a nightmare for some ladies. The solution? Spreading the love.
What one guy lacks, the other makes up for
Some women find it hard settling for a man who doesn't quite give her everything she's looking for. If her main boyfriend isn't caring enough, or isn't mind-blowing in the sack, she'll find another guy who is ready and willing to fill the void. It might sound heartless, but to these women, it's all about being practical while ensuring their needs are met.
They think it's a form of protection
Tracey, a self-proclaimed misandrist, said being unfaithful is a way for women to protect themselves. "I think that women will preemptively cheat or keep a side guy as a way to separate their emotions so they don't get attached to a guy they might actually like." she shared.
"Millennial men are keenly commitment-phobic and want all the perks of being in a relationship without the responsibilities or the commitment." She believes women have no choice but to spread their affections, otherwise they run the risk of constantly being hurt.
It's their only choice
There are other ladies who are too afraid to leave a relationship. This could be for a plethora of reasons. Whether there are children involved, they have a fear of not being loved again, or are at risk for financial instability, they can't pick up and leave. Their compromise? Stepping out with another man.
They no longer respect him
"I think overall, cheating occurs when that 'special' feeling is gone; meaning there were past infidelities and there's no respect." Karen revealed. When respect and trust are out the window, the relationship is pretty much doomed from there. They're two elements that are paramount to a successful union. Once these women lose respect for their men, they're more open to outside influence.
It's an escape plan
Karen's parting words, "We know men have no forgiveness, so we knowingly cheat and say our goodbyes. All whilst getting a nut off."
What are your thoughts on women cheating with no remorse? Tweet us @wewomenUSA!
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